What Do Get Out of Being In A Relationship?
Understanding the value of what you are bringing and getting out of your relationship.
RELATIONSHIPS
10/1/20238 min read


Intro
It's no secret that relationships can be complex. But what do you get out of them? Is it just a transactional agreement or is there something deeper? In this blog post, we'll explore what men get out of relationships and how to tell if it's more than a casual arrangement. We'll delve into the role of love, and what it means for a relationship to be transactional in nature. So, whether you want to better understand yourself or someone else, join us as we explore what men get out of relationships.
The transactional nature of relationships
When it comes to relationships, there is often an inherent transactional nature at play. Both men and women enter into relationships with certain expectations and needs, hoping to find someone who can fulfill them. This is not to say that all relationships are purely transactional or devoid of deeper emotional connections, but it does acknowledge that there is an element of give and take involved.
In many cases, men enter into relationships with the expectation of receiving certain benefits. This can range from companionship and emotional support to physical intimacy and shared experiences. Similarly, men may also have certain needs that they hope their partners will fulfill, such as respect, admiration, and validation.
On the other hand, women may also have their expectations and needs within the relationship. This can include emotional security, financial stability, and a sense of protection. It is important to recognize that these needs and expectations are not inherently selfish or one-sided. They are a natural part of human nature and reflect our desires for mutual support and happiness.
The transactional nature of relationships is not necessarily a negative thing. It can serve as a foundation for a healthy and fulfilling partnership. When both partners have a clear understanding of each other's needs and are committed to meeting them, it can create a sense of balance and mutual satisfaction.
However, it is important to distinguish between a purely transactional relationship and one that is rooted in genuine emotional connection. While the transactional aspects of a relationship may initially attract individuals to each other, it is the deeper emotional bond that sustains and strengthens the partnership in the long term.
A truly fulfilling relationship goes beyond mere transactions and instead focuses on the emotional well-being and happiness of both partners. It involves genuine care, respect, and understanding. It is built on trust, shared values, and common goals.
The evolutionary perspective on relationships
The evolutionary perspective offers valuable insights into why relationships have a transactional nature. Evolutionary psychologists suggest that our behaviors and preferences in relationships have been shaped by natural selection and our need to ensure the survival of our genes.
From an evolutionary standpoint, men and women have different reproductive strategies, which can contribute to the transactional nature of relationships. Men have a biological drive to spread their genes as widely as possible, while women are more selective in choosing partners who can provide resources and protection for their offspring. This fundamental difference in reproductive strategies has led to certain expectations and behaviors in relationships.
For men, the transactional nature of relationships can be linked to their desire for reproductive success. Men may seek out physically attractive partners, as physical beauty is often associated with fertility. Additionally, men may prioritize qualities such as youth and health in potential partners, as these attributes can increase the chances of successful reproduction.
On the other hand, women may seek partners who display signs of resources and stability, as these traits can contribute to the survival and well-being of their offspring. Women may be attracted to financially secure men, have high social status, or possess traits that indicate good genes for their future children.
While these evolutionary preferences may shape initial attraction, it's important to note that they don't dictate the entire course of a relationship. Humans are complex beings with the capacity for emotional connection, empathy, and personal growth. As such, relationships can transcend purely transactional motivations.
In modern society, the transactional aspects of relationships can still be present, but they are often accompanied by emotional connections and a deeper sense of intimacy. Many men seek emotional support, companionship, and shared experiences from their partners, not just physical satisfaction or reproductive success.
Understanding the evolutionary perspective on relationships can help us appreciate the underlying motivations and desires that may drive certain behaviors. However, it's essential to remember that individuals can choose their values, prioritize emotional connections, and create fulfilling relationships that go beyond purely transactional exchanges.
What do men want from relationships?
It's a question that has puzzled many, and the answers can vary greatly depending on the individual. However, there are some common themes and desires that men often seek in their relationships.
One of the most fundamental things that men want from relationships is emotional connection. Contrary to popular belief, men have emotional needs just like women do. They want a partner who can listen to them, understand them, and provide emotional support. Men want to feel loved, appreciated, and valued in their relationships. They want to know that their feelings are heard and validated.
Another important aspect that men want from relationships is companionship. Men want a partner they can share their lives with, someone they can lean on during tough times, and celebrate with during the good times. Having a companion who is there for them through thick and thin is incredibly important for men.
Physical intimacy is also a significant desire for many men in relationships. While it's not the only thing they want, physical intimacy is a vital aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Men want to feel desired and wanted by their partners, and physical intimacy is one way to achieve that. However, it's important to note that physical intimacy is not just about satisfying a biological need. It's about feeling a deep emotional and physical connection with their partner.
Men also want respect and admiration from their partners. They want to be seen as strong, capable, and successful. They want a partner who believes in them and supports their goals and ambitions. Feeling respected and admired by their partner can greatly boost a man's self-esteem and confidence.
Financial stability is another desire that many men have in relationships. While it's not true for all men, many want to feel financially secure and provide for their partners and potential future family. This doesn't mean that men want their partners to solely depend on them financially, but rather they want to contribute and take care of their loved ones.
The importance of emotional connection in relationships
Emotional connection is the cornerstone of any successful and fulfilling relationship. It goes beyond the superficial aspects of a partnership and delves into the depths of our human nature. Without emotional connection, a relationship can feel empty, transactional, and ultimately unfulfilling.
When we talk about emotional connection, we are referring to the bond that develops between two individuals based on shared experiences, trust, and understanding. It's about being able to truly see and be seen by your partner, and to create a safe space where vulnerability and authenticity can flourish.
In relationships, emotional connection allows us to feel deeply understood, supported, and loved. It's what makes us feel valued, cherished, and accepted for who we truly are. It is through emotional connection that we find solace, comfort, and strength in the face of life's challenges.
Without emotional connection, relationships can become shallow and self-centered. When individuals prioritize their own needs and desires without considering the emotional well-being of their partner, it leads to feelings of loneliness, resentment, and dissatisfaction. Selfishness and a lack of empathy can erode the emotional connection and create a sense of disconnection within the relationship.
On the other hand, when emotional connection is nurtured and prioritized, it creates a foundation for trust, intimacy, and personal growth. It allows individuals to develop a deep sense of emotional safety, where they can freely express their thoughts, fears, and desires without fear of judgment or rejection.
Emotional connection is not about sacrificing one's own needs or losing oneself in the relationship. It is about finding a balance between self-care and nurturing the emotional well-being of your partner. It's about being able to hold space for each other's emotions, supporting each other's dreams and aspirations, and celebrating each other's successes.
It's important to note that emotional connection is not a static state but rather a continuous process. It requires ongoing effort, communication, and vulnerability. It means actively showing up for your partner, even during challenging times, and being willing to grow and evolve together.
In a world where transactional relationships are often emphasized and superficial connections are prioritized, it is vital to recognize the importance of emotional connection. It is through emotional connection that relationships can transcend mere transactions and transform into deeply meaningful and fulfilling partnerships.
So, whether you're a man looking to understand what you truly want from a relationship or someone wanting to better understand the men in your life, remember that emotional connection is key. It is the glue that holds relationships together and allows them to thrive. So, prioritize emotional connection, nurture it, and watch as your relationships flourish and become sources of genuine love, support, and happiness.
Challenging the idea of a purely transactional relationship
Relationships have long been seen as transactional in nature, with both men and women entering into them with certain expectations and needs. However, it's important to challenge this idea and recognize that relationships can go beyond mere transactions. While it is true that there are certain give-and-take aspects to relationships, they are also deeply rooted in emotional connections, trust, and mutual growth.
When we view relationships solely as transactions, it often leads to a focus on self-interest and selfishness. Individuals may prioritize their own needs and desires without considering the emotional well-being of their partner. This can create a sense of disconnection and ultimately lead to dissatisfaction within the relationship.
To challenge the idea of a purely transactional relationship, we must shift our perspective and prioritize emotional connection. This means actively showing up for our partners, being present and attentive, and creating a safe space where vulnerability and authenticity can thrive. It requires empathy, understanding, and a willingness to communicate and work through challenges together.
By prioritizing emotional connection, we can create a relationship that is built on mutual support, love, and respect. It means seeing our partners as more than just a means to fulfill our own needs, but as individuals with their desires, dreams, and struggles. It means celebrating each other's successes, supporting each other's growth, and being there for one another during both the good times and the bad.
Challenging the idea of a purely transactional relationship also means recognizing that love is a fundamental component of any healthy and fulfilling partnership. Love goes beyond just physical attraction or superficial exchanges. It is about caring deeply for another person, accepting them for who they are, and supporting their happiness and well-being.
To challenge the transactional nature of relationships, we must also challenge societal norms and expectations. We must question the idea that relationships are simply a means to fulfill our own needs or achieve certain societal ideals. Instead, we should strive to create relationships that are based on shared values, genuine connection, and a commitment to each other's happiness.
In conclusion, relationships do have transactional aspects, but they are not purely transactional. By prioritizing emotional connection, challenging selfishness, and embracing love, we can create relationships that are deeply meaningful and fulfilling. It requires effort, communication, and a willingness to grow together. So, let's challenge the idea of a purely transactional relationship and instead strive for connections that are rooted in love, support, and mutual happiness.
In conclusion
Love is a fundamental component of any healthy and fulfilling partnership. It goes beyond physical attraction or superficial exchanges. Love is about caring deeply for another person, accepting them for who they are, and supporting their happiness and well-being.
Challenging the idea of a purely transactional relationship requires prioritizing emotional connection and challenging selfishness. It means actively showing up for our partners, creating a safe space for vulnerability, and supporting each other's growth.
By embracing love, prioritizing emotional connection, and challenging societal norms and expectations, we can create relationships that are deeply meaningful and fulfilling. Relationships that go beyond mere transactions and instead focus on genuine care, respect, and understanding.
So, whether you are a man seeking to understand what you truly want from a relationship or someone wanting to better understand the men in your life, remember the importance of emotional connection. Nurture it, prioritize it, and watch as your relationships flourish and become sources of genuine love, support, and happiness.